spatch: (Default)
Here it is, folks, your Moment of Denouement.
Music, Maestro? *ahem*

You and I in our little workshop
Making LED lights from the money we got
Hanging glowies before dawn
Til one by one, they're all done
Three weeks later, MBTA subway
Worker sees one, he goes "Oh hey,
Better call the bomb squad by
Cause ninety-nine Mooninites have arrived"

Ninety-nine Mooninites
Hanging from the overpass
With their middle fingers high
As if to say "Hub, kiss my ass"
Here's Ignignokt, that one's Err
But Boston does not know for sure
The Aqua Teens are advertised
By ninety-nine Mooninites in the sky

Ninety-nine cops on the scene
Can't believe what they've just seen
There's batteries and wires, too
And no one knows just what to do
They look explosive, clench your fists
They must be from terrorists!
We better blast them to the sky
Cause ninety-nine Mooninites must die

Ninety-nine white vans arrive
All with TV crews inside
Everyone's a news reporter
Everyone's a Chet or Nat
Breathlessly they cause a panic
Are these bombs or just Satanic?
Suddenly the bloggers cry
"Wait a minute, those are Mooninites!"

Ninety-nine lulz we have had
And all because of Pete and Sean
It's all over, but Menino's mumbling
Words like "hoax" to hide his bumbling
Folks are selling souvenirs
To commemorate our Day of Fear
And here is a Mooninite
I check eBay and make my bid...
spatch: (Abbie onna Table)
Ask anyone who knows me, I'm an easygoing cat
I'm all about the chilling out, I've got the cool down pat
Don't really ask for nothing much, life's all good on the whole
But tonight there ain't no cat food in my bowl.

I've endured a few indignities in my time upon this earth
From jokes about my fuzziness to cracks about my girth
With patience I have borne these barbs that'd try another's soul--
But I'm offended there's no cat food in my bowl.

I didn't mind the time you gave me bows to make me pretty
Or rolled me in a blanket just to play Burrito Kitty
Or wrapped me 'round your shoulders and said "Hey, check out my fur stole!"
But I mind that there's no cat food in my bowl.

Now if I had my way, of course, I'd rule with iron paw
My merest whim a grand command, my meow would be the law
But my job here's to be the cat; provider is your role
So provide me with some cat food in my bowl.

All right, you've had your slumber, and your dreams of god-knows-what
But it's time that you addressed this pressing problem that I've got
Cause I'm a screamin' hungry cuss who's 'bout to lose control
...well hey look now, there's some cat food in my bowl.

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