am I carl barx or not

Today, thanks to a thread on Something Awful, we are looking at Donald Duck's family tree. There appear to be many different versions of the tree, with familial deviations like you wouldn't believe. Only one tree bothers with Duck Tales universe enough to chronicle it. And here you just thought it was a bunch of ducks. Silly you!

I like this version the best as it's nicely illustrated with three branches of the family. Reminds me of the old Gasoline Alley family tree, only without names like "Hoogy" (instead, we get "Gertrude Sadwall" and "Sir Swamphole McQuack.")

Then there's the stripped-down version with just text, colors and gender graphics, and that's nice for people who don't want to waste their time and get right down to a slightly abbreviated version of the above tree. Just a few changes, that's all.

And then you've got the I'm A Big Fan And This Is How I Show It family tree which, of course, was written to serve the fan what did the writin'. As a result the rest of us have to squint pretty hard to follow some of the family connections and I still want to know in what story did Donald have seven kids with "Angela Duck" (who shares his family name, mind you.) The real scary part of this tree is its thoroughness; not only do we learn that Dewey's full name is Deuteronomy, but we also get Donald's middle name -- Fauntleroy. There's exactly one cartoon in existence that shows Donald's middle name and you can get the Brass Figligee with Bronze Oak Leaf Palm if you can name it.

And the fan-made tree also has the only picture of Huey, Dewey and Louie's father, who apparently has never been named. Now that's an odd mystery...