now I know the true meaning of st. patrick's day

Big ups to the chowderhead interviewed by WBZ's Carl Stevens (dragged, kicking and screaming no doubt, out of Worcester) at the Black Rose near Quincy Market today.

"What does St. Patrick's Day mean to you?" he was asked.

"Oh, it's a fine day, laddie!" he replied, with a voice about as Irish as a plate of hummus. "It means a fine day, and no rats!"

Rats?!

"Snakes!" someone else said in a stage whisper. "No snakes!"

"Oh, yeah, snakes," our erstwhile man-on-the-street said. "A fine day, without any rodents!"

I bet he can't wait to stick some citrus fruit down his Corona neck for Sinko De May-Oh.

the appearance and irritation will remind you of the boils

HEY KIDS! Re-Enact the 10 Plagues of Egypt in your very own home!

Mom & Dad are gonna love a house covered in construction paper dots, paper bags over the windows, upside-down stuffed animals, and red food coloring everywhere!

The Insult That Made A Man Out Of "Mac"

Miss L.: IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS! X-RAY SPECS
Mr. S.: "IT REALLY WORKS"
Miss L.:watch them give birth -- LIVE SEA MONKEYS!!!! *little crowns*

Mr. S.: BOYS! SEND NOW FOR 1,000 "FIGHTIN' MEN" IN FULL DETAIL

Miss L.: Exotic And Rare Stamps From All Over The World -- 400 for $7.50!
Mr. S.: Learn To Throw Your Voice! Fool Your Friends! Fun At Parties!
Miss L.: Electric hand buzzer -- SHOCK YOUR ENEMIES!

Mr. S.: LEARN THE ART OF "KARA-TE" -- THE ORIENT'S MOST DEADLY ART

Miss L.: Red Hot Chewing Gum -- Looks Like Regular Gum!

Mr. S.: Tijuana Bibles. All kinds from Popeye to Blondie. 6 for 75 cents. P.O. Box 925, Weehauken, New Jersey.
Miss L.: Magic soap -- turns hands BLACK!

Mr. S.: KIDS! Earn this swell SCHWINN BIKE by selling "GRIT" to your family, friends and neighbors!