ROMANI ITE DOMUM, Y'ALL

I'm Not Writing A Brokeback Mountain "Finally He Knew How To Quit" Joke Here Dept.

Raph Koster has quit SOE. Yes, the man behind EverQuest II and Star Wars: Galaxies has jumped, leaving behind one underperforming fantasy game and a Star Wars MMORPG living on borrowed time (the latest rumor is that LucasArts is about to yank the Star Wars license from SOE. Further rumors insinuate that Bioware is gonna get the license next, but I'm takin that with a grain of sal-- hell, I'm takin that with a salt lick.) I wonder what indignity, what affront to poor Raph was so terrible that he finally gave up the post and ran -- I mean, it's gotta be something truly soul-killing, since sitting around watching his Star Wars baby getting brutally decimated by corporate committee doesn't seem to have been bad enough. Maybe they stopped carrying Twizzlers in the vending machines or something. Those bastards.

HEY KIDS!
Unscramble these words to find out the current climate at Sony Online Entertainment!
ship, like, jumping, a, rats, sinking, from

STFV NOOB Dept.

C'mon, gang, let's all go visit Roma Victor, the fvn Roman MMORPG, where trovblemakers don't get banned, they get crvcified! If I played that game, I'd probably be pvt vp for making more goddamn Life Of Brian cracks than anybody really shovld. And for vsing Vs where I shovldn't.

Golddiggers of 2006 Dept.

What's funnier than a community in Alabama deciding to goof off a little and pretending they can see a leprechaun hanging around their neighborhood? When they attract a news crew. What I love about this story is that everyone seems to be in on the joke: the neighbors, the kid in the blue hat with gold teeth who gives the camera the best Wayans comedy take after talkin 'bout the leprechaun, the guy with the "1,000 year-old leprechaun flute", and even the anchors themselves -- who try to introduce the report with as much sincerity as they muster up for the yearly "Santa's been spotted on the East Coast radar, sleigh bells reported heard in New York City, kids on the Gulf Coast should be in bed now!" Christmas Eve forecast.

Of course, being an Internet video meme and all, this clip has already spawned a You're The Man Now Dog parody remix or five.

And speaking of hoaxes...

Well, Now I've Seen Everything Dept.

"A nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug while giving birth to her firstborn [NWS] marks a 'first' for Pro-Life. Pop-star Britney Spears is the "ideal" model for Pro-Life and the subject of a dedication at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn's Williamsburg gallery district, in what is proclaimed the first Pro-Life monument to birth, in April."

The article is hilarious and ghastly all at the same time, but I'm so calling Joey Skaggs out on this one. With a bravo, of course. See you at the April Fool's Day Parade!

Making "Let's Make A Deal" Look Like An 18th Century Salon Dept.

OH THOSE CRAZY FOREIGN PEOPLE AND THEIR CRAZY FOREIGN TELEVISION GAME SHOWS WHERE FOREIGN TALKING PEOPLE DO INEXPLICABLE FOREIGN THINGS. Here's a 1.3 megabyte animated .GIF of what happens when an overseas Fear Factor-esque game show takes a contestant to the zoo, makes them wear a seal hat, and then parades them in front of a polar bear tank. You can guess what happens next. Frankly, the only thing I feel bad for here (besides society) is the poor innocent polar bear, who gets tricked into smashing up against a Plexiglass tank window. And you wonder why they get neurotic.