Good day, and welcome to Day Twelve

I'm not really here, I'm still enjoying my god-given right to a day off IN BED, but I just realized that this past holiday season, I didn't hear one single instance of Bob & Doug McKenzie's Twelve Days of Christmas.

I know that Twelve Days parodies are ubiquitous as all get-out, and annoying to boot because it's already the longest song EVER, unless you pull an Allan Sherman and sing "And all that other stuff" to get to whatever funny thing you've substituted for a partridge in a pear tree. (Sherman's partridge was "A Japanese Transistor Radio" but the best was his fifth one, "A statue-of-a-lady-with-a-clock... where her stomach ought to beeeeeeee!" and I'll award the Brass Figligee with Bronze Oak Leaf Palm to anyone who can correctly identify where that phrase was recycled and used again in another song.)

But I guess at least down here in the States, the McKenzie Brothers been supplanted in our collective Christmas pop consciousness by David Bowie and Bing Crosby (arguably are the more incongruous of the duos, but still.) I have a warm spot in my heart for those two lads from the Great White North.

"This should just be the Two Days of Christmas, it's too hard for us!"

"You know what, it should be the Thirteen Days of Christmas, and on the thirteenth day, you could've gone down to one of those good donut shops, where if you buy a dozen you get one free, and that would be thirteen donuts for the Thirteenth Day of Christmas."