Two Great Workplace Peeves

Peeve the Firste: Those who leave sponges in the sink in the break room. Do you people not have sinks at home? Do you not know a sponge left in the sink will get wet and icky and stay wet and icky every time someone runs the water? And that sponges like that fall apart and remain completely icky? There's a spot on the sink for a reason, people. You put the sponge there and it dries out and the water that leaves it is channeled back into the sink. DO IT. LET THE SPONGE DRY, YOU FILTHY FREAKS. And this coming from the guy who has a knee-high mountain of empty soda bottles in his room.

Peeve the Seconde: People using their Blackberry in the bathroom. While sitting in a stall. I know you are, dude, because I can hear that little scrolly wheel go whirrr whirrr whirrr. What is so important that it cannot wait for a bathroom break? What? WHAT?! IS IT A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH?!! No, you're probably gonna write a one-line Reply To All with an entire message quoted beneath. And I bet the reply will be something like "Got it." I really wish the Blackberry could sense its location, and change its signature accordingly, so you get something like

--
This message was sent via wireless Blackberry
While I was taking a dump.

That'd work just fine, thank you.

Okay, the vein in my forehead has stopped throbbing. I think that's a good sign, don't you?