what

Me: I am looking for to eat a delicious thing of string cheese.
String Cheese: Hi I am a package of string cheese which is marked simply "String Cheese".
Me: Hello String Cheese! I shall purchase you forthwith!
Cash Register: Ka-ching!
Me: Now to eat this delicious String Cheese.
String Cheese: I am being pulled apart in little strands!
Me: Oh no this is not what I wanted, I was looking for mozzarella string cheese
String Cheese: Fooled you! I am cheddar!
Me: How the hell do you make string cheese out of cheddar?
String Cheese: I don't know.
Me: Is this mozzarella mixed with cheddar?
String Cheese: Could be.
Me: Why was this not clearly on your package to inform me "CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN CHEDDAR"?
String Cheese: Beats me, I'm just a piece of string cheese.
Me: Well this is unacceptable, String Cheese, I am afraid I will have to let you go.
String Cheese: Now I am in a garbage can! Maybe a seagull will come and eat me!
Seagull: Mine!