Jul. 20th, 2007

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We are at an MBTA Station waiting for Our Bus. Waiting with us are a cluster of Noon People and another MBTA bus driver, who was making her way to her own bus when she saw this one approaching and just had to wait for it. She's got a huge grin as she watches the bus tenatively approach, then turns to make an announcement to all of us waiting to board.

"Look at him, all pulling up slowly like that, cause he knows I'm gonna embarrass him. I'm gonna get him good. Watch this."

The bus slowly stops at the curb and the door opens. Bus Driver #2 immediately leaps in front of the line and starts in on the driver.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Where's my child support payments? You owe me six months of child support! I know how much you make, man, I know a hundred dollars a month ain't gonna bankrupt you! I've seen your new car! You better pay up soon or I'm reporting you as a deadbeat dad! Your babies need food!"

Those of us waiting in line start snickering, chuckling and finally outright laughing as Bus Driver #2 continues her tirade with the grin of the successful prankster. The driver in the bus is giving one of those "Aw, there you go again" smiles which really means "Oh god, I wish I could just disappear into this seat." It's the highlight of the late morning rush.

Driver #2 finally lets us board, but not before leaning back in with a parting shot.

"Oh yeah, by the way: I'm pregnant with triplets, and they're yours!"

She then walks over to her parked bus, starts it up, and waits for her passengers. Meanwhile, on Our Bus, we are having a laugh festival the likes of which this bus route has rarely seen. The older woman in front of me is still chuckling as she taps her Charlie Card.

"Back in my day it used to always be the milkman. Now it's the bus driver, huh?"

The driver shakes his head, still with that rueful smile.

"She's just gettin me back. Long story. Oh, man."

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