one of my favorite Kilborn-era running jokes

All together, now:

Dean Wormer? DEAD!
Marmalard? DEAD!
Jesse Helms...

Those of you who do not live in the United States, be prepared for some gigantic fireworks on your friends list today from your American pals. (Heck, okay, Americans, be prepared too!) I suggest you track the timestamps on people's posts so you can work out a complete chart of who knew and when they found out.

Meanwhile, I won't say nothin' else (other than Happy Birthday, USA!) because I used up enough anger against that bastard ages ago and would like to save any new vitriol for other causes. HOW DARE THEY TAKE AWAY THOSE CRUNCHY MINT M&MS, GODDAMN THEM ALL

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, ABBIE THE CAT

The other day I opened Abbie's bag of cat food and watched a grain moth fly out.

"Get it!" I said to His Nibs, but he wasn't going in for it. I looked in the bag and I saw a little grain moth larva all wriggling around indignantly too. This I did not tell Abbie to get. I mean, sure, the extra protein could help the cat some, but what would people say if word got out that I was feeding him moth larvae? If he was eating them of his own volition then that might be all right, but I'm not going to be the one to put them in his bowl.

To solve this problem I went out to the store and bought a new bag of cat food and a giant plastic airtight bin. It is a nice thing to know that the bin contains almost an entire bag of cat food, minus the amount you put in his bowl when you fill it up. Makes thinking easier.

However, we had purchased a boring-looking plastic bin -- clear, so you could see the awesome cat food strata, but boring nonetheless, and I realized I needed to label it lest someone think it was, I don't know, breakfast cereal, and pour themselves a big delicious bowl and munch away before the cat indignantly jumped up and demanded what the hell was going on with his food.



So I made a nice label for the bin. Now everybody will know to steer clear unless they're going to feed the cat! Isn't that helpful? And seeing as how it was the Fourth of July, well, I put a special patriotic slant on it.

Oh, and there's stuff on the side, too. You will note that it is sometimes very hard to draw on somewhat porous construction-like paper with a Sharpie marker. Maybe the next label will be drawn with a rollerball pen, lord love em.