GETTIN' MAD BOUT SCIENCE-FICTION

IF YOU COULDN'T TELL BY ALL THE CAPS I WENT AND SAW THE NEW STAR TREK FILM TONIGHT AND THEN I WENT TO REDBONES AND DRANK SOME VERY GOOD BEER, NOT KANAR, AND ATE SOME VERY GOOD FOOD BUT MY MOUTH IS STILL TAINTED WITH THE TASTE OF SOME VERY STUPID FILMMAKING

Let's get this out of the way first, then, before delving into the spoilers:

Star Trek Into Darkness has a running time of one hundred thirty-three minutes. The first one hundred and thirteen minutes aren't all that bad; in fact, I was rather enjoying the film. As with the 2009 JJ Abrams Trek, I was perfectly happy settling into the new film. Okay, this is new Trek, let's have some fun with the new characters, let's give them new space adventures and stuff, let's watch as our New Kirk and New Spock and New Bones and New Uhura and New Sulu and New Scotty and even New Chekov do their New Thang.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED
AND THE ENTIRE THEATER DID NOT ACT AS JJ ABRAMS WANTED US TO ACT
NOBODY WENT "OH MY GOD WOW THAT IS SO AWESOME, TOTALLY UNEXPECTED, AND JUST WHAT THIS MOVIE NEEDED"
EVERYBODY PRETTY MUCH GROANED
AND I SAID OUT LOUD "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME"
AND NOBODY TOLD ME TO SHUSH SO THE AUDIENCE WAS BY INFERENCE IN AGREEMENT OR SOMETHING

( HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED WITH A TON OF SPOILERS )