(no subject)

[spatch]

I failed.

For years I have taken pride in the fact that I have not once ever walked out of a movie before. The last time I came close was when I saw Vanilla Sky, but I held on by some perverse thin thread of hope that the explanation provided at the end would be worth the two and half fucking hours of boredom I'd been through. (The explanation was good, but the film overall was terrible.)

I walked out of Gigli.

I just couldn't take it. For one, it was shrill and ugly. Nobody talks in the film. They all yell. For two, there's a normal actor playing a retard in a horrible way. It was very embarassing to watch. For three, I had to drive myself to the theater so I couldn't drink. And for four, there were more people in the theater than just us. I couldn't be loud and yell "THIS IS SHIT" at the screen as I'd hoped. I don't like being loud in a theater with other people who are not participating in the fun, mostly because I don't like it when people are loud in theaters when I'm not participating in the fun.

But I just couldn't handle all this shit and no outlet. I couldn't take it.

So fuck you Ben Affleck, fuck you Jennifer Lopez, fuck you producers, fuck you screenwriter, fuck you extra people who wasted your money, and fuck me for wasting my money.

Comments

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

Ah, but was it worse than The Hulk?

Seriously, I'm sorry that you've been seeing so many turkeys lately. Go rent The Muppet Movie, it puts a cool salve on the rage.

Sensible.

[coffeebeanben.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with walking out of a movie, Count Spatula. There have been many films where I now wish I had possessed the good sense to flee. For instance, when NateDawg dragged me to Battlefield Earth (!!!), I know I shoulda ran. Shoulda, shoulda, shoulda. Instead, I clutched my jacket like it was my blanky and cooed to myself while sucking my thumb and remembering how much I liked Legos growing up.