Spatch's Laws of Public Venues

[spatch]

Given any number of people mulling about in a public space, such as a subway entryway, Common or other such touristy area, the following rules apply:

1. Two or more people hanging around wearing the same type of shirt are up to no good, and
2. People with clipboards have ulterior motives, so consequently
3. People with clipboards who are wearing the same type of shirt are just out to get you.

These are IRREFUTABLE TRUTHS OF LIFE, people. This TRANSCENDS mere cynicism. Believe it!