Mr. Grumpus-Pants Presents: The Pantheon of Lesser Holidays

[spatch]

If you go to this happy little webpage you will learn that America is such a great country with so many great holidays to observe, that over the years it has dealt with the overflow by relegating some holidays into the Pantheon of Lesser Holidays. Holidays such as "Z Day", for example, which is observed by letting people whose last names begin with Z stand in the front of the line for once (if, indeed, the line you're standing in is arranged in alphabetical order.)

And you will be most happy to discover that you can look up your birthday and see which lesser-known holiday you can observe on your day of birth.

On a whim, your humble author took it upon himself to look up his own birthday and discovered, much to his chagrin, that his birthday was...

...National Hugging Day.

Now I know what you're saying, "Oh, but Spatch! You are the huggiest of all hugglebunnies who ever hugged in the Huggin' Patch!" Pish-tosh and nonsense, I rumble, and petulantly adjust my pince-nez whilst simultaneously emptying the contents of my meerschaum into the ashcan.

Or maybe you're saying "But Spatch! I for one would be honored and delighted to know that I share the day of my birth with one devoted to hugging, if I were you."

Oh, would you, now? Let's consider the alternatives, had I attempted an early check-out or stayed around in the womb for a few more hours:

The day before my birthday? National Buttercrunch Day.

The day after my birthday? National Answer Your Cat's Question Day.

My actual birthday? National Hugging Day.





Boooooooo! I want a do-over! Booooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Comments

[bostonista.livejournal.com]

My birthday is National Roast Suckling Pig Day. I think I'm okay with that.

[sarcasma.livejournal.com]

Mine is National Dress Up Your Pet Day.

WHY do I not have a Cat Town icon for this comment?

[spatch]

Holy Fudd, I think you've won.

LUCKY!!

[rabswom.livejournal.com]

Quit your whinging. My birthday is "Middle Child's Day." I'm an only child!

And I missed "Sneak some Zucchini onto your neighbor's Porch Night" by 4 days!

[luckimunki.livejournal.com]

My birthday? Both National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day. Somehow it just fits.

[maga-dogg.livejournal.com]

My birthday is National Step in a Puddle and Splash your Friend Day. I feel a [citation needed] edit coming on.

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

March 31 is...Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell Day

You wanna switch? Hugs I can do. I haven't played with Bunsen Burners since 10th grade and I'm not that big on mollusks in general.

feeling very Charlie Brown right now

[kissoflife.livejournal.com]

"I got a rock."

January 7 is . . . . .Old Rock Day

[sarcasma.livejournal.com]

I guess I know how I'm celebrating my birthday next year.

[granuaile.livejournal.com]

My birthday is " Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day"

Yep, I think I'll take in the rats. ^_^

[quodlibetic.livejournal.com]

National Moldy Cheese Day, here. Holla!

[terras.livejournal.com]

My birthday is Multiple Personalities Day. My other personalities want different holidays from each other.

+1 is National Frozen Food Day
-1 is Holy Experiment Day

I don't know, Holy Experiment Day sounds kind of... diabolical.

[pecosy.livejournal.com]

Supreme Sacrifice Day. Screw that.

Just missed Submarine Day and Poultry Day, both of which absolutely shine compared to Supreme Sacrifice Day.

[off_coloratura]

My birthday has TWO holidays: National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes of America Day.

It strikes me that these two holidays do not play well together.

[spatch]

I double-dog dare you.

[glowkitty]

National Gum Drop Day! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! ...or don't. Burnt sugar stinks.

[semer.livejournal.com]

It doesn't even seem fair for you to complain when I missed National Play God Day by a damn day. One lousy day. Really mere hours, when you think about it...

[spritelord.livejournal.com]

Dunce day. I think I'm unhappy now.

[byrneout.livejournal.com]

National Take Your Pants for a Walk Day.

+1 comedy pants reference

[tyopsqueene.livejournal.com]

Look Up At The Sky Day.

The Boy is National Tapioca Pudding Day and Respect Canada Day. Ace.

[plumtreeblossom.livejournal.com]

Huh. I got National Fruitcake Day... :-/

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

National Bologna Day. I'm speechless.

[gilana]

Virus Appreciation Day.

I was born on Virus Appreciation Day.

Yay, herpes!



Somehow I don't think I'm going to be getting as many hugs on my birthday...

[karyn.livejournal.com]

mine is lazy day!

[minkrose]

good grief, I've got: Emma M. Nutt Day.
I'd rather celebrate Lily Tomlin's birthday along with mine, thanks. I like her better as a telephone operator.

I was two hours short of being born on National Beheading Day, which I would've enjoyed much more.

My dad was born just after midnight on Nov 1: Plan Your Epitaph Day. I guess that's appropriate, right after Halloween (or National Magic Day and Increase Your Pyschic Powers Day).