Whoo, have you seen this yet?

[spatch]

If not, you should.

Jack Chick takes on Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

For reals.

Comments

[mcsnee.livejournal.com]

Wow. I don't think I've ever seen somebody descend into a life of crime and violence that quickly.

[maga-dogg.livejournal.com]

I think it's abundantly clear that Jack Chick met the Devil at the crossroads at midnight, and promised him his soul if he could teach him how to draw reeeeeeal good, but then at the last minute snatched the quill away and was all 'HA! I BEAR WITNESS THAT JESUS (KJV) IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD'. And then went on drawing anyway.

[clickie]

Shee. I can't even imagine living in a world where things are so (literally) black and white and simplistic: why do people become serial killers? Their parents must've lied to them! Obviously!

[dogofthefuture.livejournal.com]

I suddenly feel as if I should change my life. I mean obviously the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are fake, so therefore Jesus is real. How can anybody not understand the truth thereof?

You sinners may go your way, I will go on my own RIGHTEOUS path. The awesome thing about my RIGHTEOUS path is that I get to tell you fuckers to burn in hell. And laugh about it.

[maga-dogg.livejournal.com]

See, where my little brother and I should technically speaking have become serial killers, all we did was rig a complicated snare around the Christmas-stocking area (possibly under the influnece of Mr. Watterson.) I guess it was because my father didn't look caricature-Jewish enough.

[semer.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, Jesus does NOT help Jack Chick with panel-to-panel continuity.

[del-the-psycho.livejournal.com]

The funny part is that's the exact reason my parents never fooled around with telling us about the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus and all that other stuff. (Read: didn't want us discrediting God and Jesus as another fairy tale.) There was no middle man; it was just, "Your tooth falls out, we'll give you a dollar. We are the ones who buy your presents, but you should be good anyways, because we need a break, you hellions."

That's a hilarious extreme, though. Santa's not real?!? I! BUH! GUH! I...WILL DESTROY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD!!!

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

It's hilariously OTT--the kid learns Santa isn't real and IMMEDIATELY GOES ON A KILLING SPREE.

What's even funnier is that (speaking from personal experience) if you're the one kid on the block who doesn't literally believe in Santa Claus, it's pretty good practice for being the only atheist in your class later on.

My parents were pretty well lapsed from religion by the time it became an issue, and they played the games but decided they'd tell me it was all just pretend if asked straight out. That worked out pretty well, to my mind.

I think one problem a lot of adults have is that they've forgotten the distinction between pretending and lying, so they think that any imaginary game has to be drawn out into a passionately defended literal belief system. Kids understand the difference--they know how to play.

[28bytes.livejournal.com]

You know, you should really post a spoiler warning if you're going to link to that.

[28bytes.livejournal.com]

Yes, but the spot-on dialogue in panel 1 makes up for it.

Pro-death penalty protester: "Kill, Kill!"
Anti-death penalty protester: "Live, Live!"

[lno.livejournal.com]

No shit. I just lost my faith, too.

Spatch, YOU'RE NEXT!

[acsumama.livejournal.com]

I love the little cast of nonbeliever stereotypes -- the evil Muslim with the curved dagger, the biker Satanist with the pentacle tattoo on his forehead, the Asian communist general, the Halloween-style witch, the schoolmarm atheist protester, and the grumpy paleontologist with the pith helmet and bone.

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

I...cannot...get the trees right DAMN I WILL DESTROY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.

[vanguardcdk.livejournal.com]

Black Leaf died! Noooooo!

Whoops, wrong tract...

[tenlegspider.livejournal.com]

I'm rather fond of the God-hater's sign. No Prayers!

[28bytes.livejournal.com]

You mean the Mickey Rooney-in-Breakfast at Tiffany's-looking lady next to the guy in a pith helmet pointing to a bone?

That whole panel is a classic.

[wednesday]

Man, the Spring tract was running late this year. I'd stopped checking; thanks for the heads-up!

I see the Black tract's still the remix of March/April's reissue, though. Wonder if that'll update.

[glowkitty]

I think the guy with the pith helmet is supposed to be Michael Moore.

[mdm-sosostris.livejournal.com]

Friggin' awesome. Blessed be, brother Spatch.

[celestial-axis.livejournal.com]

That's it! The Pagans will be the death of all humanity! Lol I saw one of those cartoon books before, about Jesus rising from the dead. Funny shit. You don't see us Wiccans handing out proselytizing comic books...

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

Do you think Jack Chick wrote the Venom plot line for Spider-Man 3? Eddie Brock is every bit as inexplicably motivated as that kid Harry.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

I remember distinctly the first time I encountered a Chick comic--it in the early 1980s and it was one of the full-size Crusader Comics, "Spellbound", about the Evils of Rock and Roll. Somebody had left it in a classroom in my high school. A pagan would probably find that one particularly hilarious/enraging, given all the complete bollocks in it about Druids with scary magic devil powers building Stonehenge, which was in some incomprehensible way related to the satanic forces behind rock music (including Christian rock--do not be fooled!!)

I remember getting angry that anyone seriously believed that crap, but also being amused at the way it completely misread the motivations of its target audience, given that I could easily imagine the prospect of getting evil supernatural powers from the Devil being attractive to many kids.

[maga-dogg.livejournal.com]

Also, it just occurred to me: I can think of few worse missionaries than The Guy You Bitched For In Juvie (Now A Lawyer).