This one's for the Survivor watchers

[spatch]

Hey bro,

Now that you're back stateside I wanted to say thanks for covering for me yet again. 
I knew my important mission would keep me from playing my part on Survivor, but you
know, third-world orphans need love too. You'd be proud of the three orphanages and
two hospitals I built while out here. Everybody wanted to help but I kept saying "No,
no, I'll do it myself, don't worry about me, you just go take shelter until this
hurricane blows over." 

Everybody here was super nice. I taught them how to properly irrigate their fields
and rotate their crops so the soil won't give out on them. I also foiled an
assassination attempt and optioned the movie rights to Universal for quite a lucrative
chunk of change. Just think, when you see Samuel L. Jackson working those kung-fu
moves on the bad guys up on the big screen, remember, that's me! (I'll also be
personally teaching him those moves, too.)

So thanks for going as me to the Pearl Islands for the game. When I think of all the
times we've covered for each other in the past, I just have to laugh. Now we're doing
the ol' switcheroo in prime-time! I know you can't tell anybody the outcome just yet,
but I bet you worked hard and made me proud. You probably also got a few of the lovely
Survivor chicas in the sack, didn't you? I know I would've, right from Day 1. Well,
once I finally fly the hot-air balloon back across the Atlantic and land in Boston,
you're gonna have to tell me all about it. Hope everything's OK at home.

Your good twin brother,
Osten