THIS SUMMER - RULES WERE MADE - TO BE BROKEN

Golly, but I had very little sleep last night. As I woke up cranky and might as well spend the rest of the day cranky, I shall share some of the crank with you.

Here you go, then: A new trailer for the I, Robot movie. And, as Ronnie B. would say, it stinks on ice.

I take that back -- it's worse than stinks on ice. It stars Will Smith as... uh, Will Smith, sassy detective of the future. It also stars robots that glow red when they're angry and beat up humans, and a horribly oversimplified version of the Three Laws of Robotics ("1. They cannot hurt us. 2. They must do what we say. 3. They must protect themselves.") Seriously, we're talking Asimov for Dummies here. It's a damn shame when one of the most cerebral yet accessible works of science-fiction ends up as Just Another Crummy Hollywood Summer Action Film. It looks as if -- well, it's not gonna look as if, it's going to be this year's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Oh, yeah, Akiva Goldsman contributed to the screenplay. If that don't set off the DOOP DOOP DOOP DOOP DOOP CRAP ALERT CRAP ALERT alarms in your head, I don't know what will. (Sure, he won an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind, so what, he also gave us Batman & Robin. Action films are just not what he should be doing.)

Funny thing is, I wrote a parody trailer for Foundation back in 2000 when I heard someone was trying to adapt Foundation to the big screen. The sad thing is, the I, Robot trailer just about outdid me in parody, and to add insult to injury, it was all done unintentionally. So fuck you, movie.

That's it, you're on The List

ads.dynamix.com (I think that was the host) is goin straight in my 127.0.0.1 hosts file. BAD AD SERVER. NO BISCUIT.

And BAD IMDB for doing this to me (huge-ass JPEG, look out!)

Jeez.