I hate you, Milkman Government

A few strawmen have allegedly asked me "Hey Spatch, how come on this here journal all you wanna do is talk about playin' video games and pretendin' to be a rock star and pluggin' your radio show and mentionin' the nifty things that your cat has expelled from its body when there are more important issues in the world to talk about?"

Well, Mr. Strawman, the answer is simple: I retreat into my ostrich hole of escapism because every time I poke my head out to see what's going on, I get smacked in the face with something like this kind of folderol, a tasty little nugget of joy involving that ginormous $700 billion golden parachute of a bailout plan that our Esteemed Leader is trying to push through right now:

In fact, some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt, are fuzzy.

"It's not based on any particular data point," a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. "We just wanted to choose a really large number."

wait

what

math

no

aneurysm

lk;';l8

one sec

'kay

Did I mention that I made a group in Rock Band 2 that looks like the Brady Bunch? It sure is funny watching Greg in his Johnny Bravo getup singing Linkin Park.