I hate you, Milkman Government

[spatch]

A few strawmen have allegedly asked me "Hey Spatch, how come on this here journal all you wanna do is talk about playin' video games and pretendin' to be a rock star and pluggin' your radio show and mentionin' the nifty things that your cat has expelled from its body when there are more important issues in the world to talk about?"

Well, Mr. Strawman, the answer is simple: I retreat into my ostrich hole of escapism because every time I poke my head out to see what's going on, I get smacked in the face with something like this kind of folderol, a tasty little nugget of joy involving that ginormous $700 billion golden parachute of a bailout plan that our Esteemed Leader is trying to push through right now:

In fact, some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt, are fuzzy.

"It's not based on any particular data point," a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. "We just wanted to choose a really large number."

wait

what

math

no

aneurysm

lk;';l8

one sec

'kay

Did I mention that I made a group in Rock Band 2 that looks like the Brady Bunch? It sure is funny watching Greg in his Johnny Bravo getup singing Linkin Park.

Comments

[sarcasticah.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much my reaction too. "Hey, we pulled this figure out of our asses. Give us lots and lots of money, and don't tell us how to use it, okay? Great!"

Arrgh.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

Yeah well, when I want to read about that sort of thing then I'm not exactly short of places on the jolly old internet to go and find it.

When I want to read about Rock Band and old Mister Abbie I can come here. And I really hope you can continue to make with the funny because to quote Harry Potter "I could do with a few laughs. We could all do with a few laughs. I've got a feeling we're going to need them more than usual before long."

[tansu.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, my journal and minutiae of the world rally championship and other fixations, and likewise.

[virginiadare.livejournal.com]

I can't stop reading romance novels of the lowest caliber. It makes me feel better.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

The golden age of pulp fiction, comic books and animated cartoons is directly attributable to the Great Depression. I do wonder what sort of fun escapist media we're likely to get in this one?

[saint-buddha.livejournal.com]

I do too. I check out other novels from the library and I don't read them.

[del-the-psycho.livejournal.com]

Politics are fucking boring and depressing. No good can come of them. Let's talk about colourful toy guitars and cows people that can shoot lightning out of their hands instead.

[spatch]

Can cows shoot lightning out of their horns or something?
Or will they be able to rock the cowbell of awesome?

[scout1222.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking about the word folderol yesterday - thank you for using it. It's a good word.

[spatch]

One of the reasons why I enjoy writing dialogue for an old-time cranky professor is because I have the perfect excuse to use words like "balderdash" and "poppycock" and "outright frippery."

[big-jewfro.livejournal.com]

I particularly enjoyed this passage:

"...Dodd proposed his own counter-proposal to Paulson's plan earlier this week. Among other things, it calls for limits on executive compensation at troubled firms and for the Treasury to take a contingent equity stake in those firms. On Tuesday, Paulson rebuffed both ideas, as it might discourage firms from participating in the bailout program."

They'd rather self-destruct and go bankrupt, bringing the global economy with them than allow any of those plebe commoner filth to get their grubby hands on their money.

Just wow.

[zhym.livejournal.com]

I don't think we've had nearly enough posts about nifty things Abbie has expelled from his body.

[theswordmaiden.livejournal.com]

Ignore the mountain of discarded folderol.