I don't like the doorbell.

[spatch]

Every time one side of the brain suggests something like a nice weatherproof porch cam to see exactly who it is downstairs ringing the doorbell, before we throw on a pair of pants and trudge down from the third floor only to discover it's a nice pair of Jehovah's Witnesses who'd very much like us to read their fine magazine, the other side of the brain rejects the idea as giving in too much to the hermit mindset and not promoting healthy human-human talky-talky interaction and the like.

Even if this morning the doorbell did wake me up and I did throw on a pair of pants and did trudge down from the third floor, only to discover it was a nice pair of Jehovah's Witnesses who'd very much like me to read their fine magazine, causing me to very politely mumble "Nothankyou, nothankyou" through half-open eyelids (didn't even make eye contact! Go me) before shutting the door and going back upstairs.

Next time when the doorbell rings I'm sending the cat.

Comments

[minkrose]

I hear that if you answer the door naked, they don't come back. buuut you'd probably want that webcam before you start trying that.

and people wonder why i live in a dorm. less solicitation!

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

I can attest to that, yeah. Or actually, I was in a towel, but that was sufficient.

[katre50.livejournal.com]

Duchess keeps saying that we need to train Lindy to answer the door. If I've told her once, I've told her a hundred times: it won't work, because CATS DON'T HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

[luckimunki.livejournal.com]

There are so many things that don't work because of this.

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

Which is not necessarily a bad thing, mind you.

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

They actually rang your bell? I've never had any religious group ring my bell in the entire time I've lived in this house, including this morning.

I thought that was odd, but ringing one bell and not the other in the same house seems odder yet.

[wellstar.livejournal.com]

Just in case you were wondering, wearing a big gay t-shirt will not discourage their return.

[semer.livejournal.com]

I'm curious; is it actually an explicitly gay t-shirt or is it a t-shirt open to interpretation, depending on the wearer?

[wellstar.livejournal.com]

It very much depends on the wearer. Unless someone has replaced rainbow flags with the Union Jack.

[betweenstations.livejournal.com]

Abbie is impressionable and might become a Witness.
Send Martha.

[semer.livejournal.com]

I was in fact going to bring up the same point. Excellent job, you.

[violacat.livejournal.com]

I don't think that would work so well with my cats, especially if the Witnesses had gooshyfood.

Loki: Mreh. Feed me. OK. What?
Mirmir: PET ME LOVE ME PET ME MORE PURRPURRPURRPURR

I hate to think what they'd get themselves into.

[luckimunki.livejournal.com]

This might be the time to go down to the local printshop and print up a stack of your own magazine to offer to the Witnesses when they show up. And don't forget to mail me a copy.

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

True.

A Christian friend of mine would actually invite them in and send them away with his own literature. Pretty funny.

[spatch]

My father invites them in, offers them a cup of coffee or tea (decaf for the Mormons) and then listens to their points very nicely, and then refutes them all with Scripture. I think it's a nice way to get a little religious discussion in, and Dad's good like that. Me, I'm good for a mumbled refusal and a stagger back upstairs. Besides, I don't entertain guests very well.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

There's only so much a body can do to influence benevolent behavior in those around it. For me, it's not having children in order to discourage population explosion, and not speaking to the openly religous about their religion. I'm looking for a way to actually make them ashamed of their beliefs, like they are about their bodies. When I am rich I will put up a grant for teams of psychologists to explore this.

[unferth.livejournal.com]

Did you ever hear the story Tim Powers (Catholic SF writer) tells along those lines?

He had either Seventh Day Adventists or Jehovah's Witnesses show up on his porch, so he started arguing theology with them while standing on the porch. He was using their Bible for reference, to avoid arguments about versions ('Oh, you Catholics have your own version of the Bible. That's not what the real one says.') Since they're door to door missionaries, they have small Bibles printed on very thin paper.

Which was all fine until he got out his magnifying glass, to read the small print.

As he put it, "Well, it was a sunny day..."

Apparently he set their Bible on fire. Which at least got them to leave. Quickly.

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

The last time a Witnesses came to my door I told the woman and her 10-year-old daughter that I couldn't see myself joining a religion whose followers let their children die in the emergency room for want of a blood transfusion.

She didn't take that very well. And she didn't come back either.

(A law actually had to be passed to allow doctors to transfuse kids if needed to save their lives despite parental wishes. There's some verse about blood that they interpret very oddly.)