HOW TO START AN EPIDEMIC IN 3 EASY STEPS

[spatch]

1. CONGRESS: Hey, you know, we think the most pressing issue in America today is that horrible flag-burning epidemic. It's about time someone put their foot down and that foot is us. Let's pass an amendment outlawing flag desecration.
   AMERICAN PEOPLE: Wait, what epidemic?



2. REACTIONARIES: WHAT NO WAY SCREW YOU FOR TAKING AWAY OUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, RAAAR HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO, WE'RE GONNA BURN THIS FLAG RIGHT HERE, HA HA, TAKE THAT, OH AND HERE'S ANOTHER FLAG WE'RE BURNING, HOW YOU LIKE US NOW
   MEDIA: Click! Click! Snap! Snap! Thanks, guys! These pictures'll be on every front page tomorrow morning!



3. AMERICAN PEOPLE: Wow, look at all that flag-burning out there. It's like an epidemic! Somebody, do something!
   BUSH: I wholeheartedly support the constitutional amendment to outlaw flag desecration. Say, who put all that oil on this incline?
   CONGRESS: Sometimes, it's so easy, we're ashamed of ourselves.

Comments

[arielblue.livejournal.com]

There was an episode of West Wing in which Pres. Bartlet squashes down an anti-flag-burning amendment by asking some rather pointed questions about how if such an amendment was being proposed there must be an epidemic of the stuff happening and where was it and how could he have missed it and so on. It was pretty priceless. I need to dig up that episode and get the exact text of it because when I first saw it I was all "oh haw haw this is so funny good thing it will never happen in real life."

Sigh.