The Dunkin Donuts on Summer Street is hopeless

[spatch]

ME: I would like a Turbo Ice¹ Coffee, please.
COUNTERPERSON: Milk and sugar?
ME: Yes.
COUNTERPERSON: Here.
ME: Thank you. Sip, sip, sip.
COFFEE: HELLO I TASTE LIKE BLUEBERRIES
ME: This is disgusting.
COFFEE: TAKE PITY ON MY PATHETIC EXISTENCE, I DID NOT ASK MY CREATOR TO TASTE LIKE BLUEBERRIES
ME: Hello? I'm sorry, I wanted a Turbo Ice, and this tastes like blueberries.
COUNTERPERSON, UNHAPPY THAT HER PEACEFUL REVERIE HAS BEEN BROKEN BY YET ANOTHER CUSTOMER: You wanted blueberry?
ME: No, I don't want blueberry, I wanted a Turbo Ice. The one with the espresso in it.
COUNTERPERSON, WHO HAS EVERY RIGHT TO DOUBT A CUSTOMER'S CONCERN OVER THE BEVERAGE THEY RECEIVED BECAUSE EVERYBODY IN THE HUMAN RACE ARE LIARS WHO EXIST SOLELY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE ANNOYING: Sniff, sniff. There's no blueberry in here.
ME: Trust me, there's blueberry in it.
COUNTERPERSON, BURDENED BY THE TERRIBLE IMPOSITION PLACED UPON HER BY A CUSTOMER WHO DARES QUESTION THE FLAVOR OF HIS BEVERAGE: Sigh
ME: Could I please have the coffee with the espresso in it? No blueberry?
COUNTERPERSON, WHOSE EYES HAVE ROLLED OUT OF HER HEAD AND ARE NOW SOMEWHERE UNDER THE COUNTER, VIOLATING OSHA GUIDELINES: Milk and sugar?
ME: Yes, please.
COUNTERPERSON, WHO IS TOO BUSY DAYDREAMING ABOUT LEAVING WORK EARLY TO GO KICK PUPPIES OR SOMETHING TO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE: Here.
ME: Thank you. Sip, sip, sip.
COFFEE: WELCOME TO THE DUNKIN ISLANDS, MON
ME: This tastes like someone put suntan lotion in my coffee.
COFFEE: I AN I BE TASTIN OF COCONUT GOODNESS ALONG WIT THE CAFFEINE YOU BE CRAVIN
COUNTERPERSON, WHO OBVIOUSLY IS JUST JABBING AT RANDOM BUTTONS ON THE FLAVOR MACHINE: What now?
ME: Can I speak with your manager, please?
COUNTERPERSON, BLINKING IN DISBELIEF THAT SOMEONE MIGHT DARE TO BE DISSATISFIED WITH THE STELLAR LEVEL OF CUSTOMER SERVICE SO ADROITLY GIVEN AT THIS PARAGON OF EXCELLENCE THAT IS THE DUNKIN DONUTS ON SUMMER STREET IN BOSTON: Now why you wanna do that?!

I eventually did get my coffee. And I didn't even hear any hocking sounds from behind the flavor machine.

1. The "Turbo Ice" is the new name Dunkin Donuts has given to "an iced coffee with an espresso shot please." I dunno. Isn't it a Gatorade flavor? Might explain the incessant need to put fruit flavors in it for me.

Comments

[moxie-fawn.livejournal.com]

Dude, generally speaking, I try not to judge people by their appearance, but when it comes to coffee, if you're younger or older than a certain age, and if you dress a certain way, I'm not going to request that you prepare me a drink unless I'm desperate for caffiene. Good baristas just all seem to have a certain look about them.

[spatch]

Truth be told, I wouldn't call anybody who works at Dunkin Donuts a barista. That imparts a sort of coffeehouse sheen upon them, and DD most definitely is not a coffeehouse. It is, however, a place to get reasonably decent coffee cheap.

There are some good Dunkins folks, I know. I visited the shop at the Wellington station almost every day when I worked in Medford and I got to know the 3 usual employees there very well. We always chatted nicely, they got my orders right, and eventually started that "The usual, eh? Here it is! We saw you coming" bit that really makes you feel like a regular. I don't see anybody at the DD on Summer Street caring enough to even begin to try that. Hell, eye contact is difficult over there.

[eeka13.livejournal.com]

This is why I avoid Dunkies. ;o)