(no subject)

[spatch]

The little packet of string cheese I got today has the following message for us all:
SAFETY FIRST! OPEN WITH HANDS, NOT TEETH

The bottle of apple juice warns me:
DO NOT REUSE
and also:
SE HABLA ESPANOL
But that's the only Spanish on the bottle.

The chocolate milk bottle advises:
KEEP REFRIGERATED

Sadly, the box of paper clips has no rules or warnings, though it helpfully tells me the clips are ZINC-COATED. There's not enough room either to write in your own caveats, such as NOT FOR USE IN ELECTRICAL SOCKETS. So consider yourself warned: if you use these paper clips, you're taking your life into your own hands.

Comments

[dcart.livejournal.com]

"ZINC-COATED" is a sure invitation to eat them if you think you're getting a cold.

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

Sqweee. Get out of my brain!

[oonh.livejournal.com]

There was a extremely old extension cord that I played with when I was much younger. I'd put two paperclips in the sockets, twist them together, stand back, and plug it in and watch it go 'foom'. I probably could have used eye protection.

[orionsmom.livejournal.com]

Wow! That beats my best friends little sister who cut the stereo wires with a pair of scissors.

[oonh.livejournal.com]

The sparks were very pretty.

[spatch]

I blew a fuse in kindergarten by unfolding a brad fastener and sticking it into an outlet. I remember a pop and the lights went out and the subsequent 4-year-old trauma that went with it, and then the janitor tied some string around the brad and pulled it out before replacing the fuse.

Fun times.

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

My friend had a rabbit that chewed through the refrigerator cord. Sparks everywhere. It survived, but was never allowed out unsupervised again.

[mdm-sosostris.livejournal.com]

Yeah, these sorts of things always remind me of Wonko the Sane. When mankind starts requiring directions on its toothpicks, 's time to retreat into the asylum.

[jodied.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you for the warning i was just about to shove a whole box of paperclips in the socket. Now I won't!

[spatch]

OH THANK HEAVENS
MY LIVEJOURNAL IS NOT IN VAIN

PSST QUICK, DON'T CHEW GLASS

[ubiquity75.livejournal.com]

I purchased some cashews on Wednesday that warned me to "snack responsibly."

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

But what if I had a really bad day and *want* to eat the whole jar in one sitting? What if I promise not to drive anywhere after doing so?

[ubiquity75.livejournal.com]

DON'T TREAD ON ME!!!!11one

Tweezers are cool too!

[(Anonymous)]

I was babysitting my little sister when I was a teenager and she was maybe 3 or 4. She stuck a pair of metal eyebrow tweezers into an outlet--a perfect fit! It slightly melted the end of one tong and left a little black smoke stain on her finger. At first, I'd thought she was burned but it washed off.