You've Got To Be Kidding Me Dept.

[spatch]

I'm a postin' machine today! But I just found this pleasant bit of news courtesy the Glob:

Arson suspected in pet store fire

...

Cambridge fire officials are looking into a suspicious two-alarm fire at a pet store on Monsignor O'Brien Highway late last night.

Fire officials said this morning that the fire at the Boston Tropical Fish and Reptile store appears to be deliberately set. Arson is suspected because of graffiti on the outside of the store, which points toward an animal rights' group.

A number of animals were killed in the blaze. The store housed snakes, fish and lizards. Officials said many of the fish were saved.

The picture in the article shows the graffiti which reads "NO MORE EXPLOITATION OF ANIMALS." If this is true -- that some complete freakin' idiots brilliantly decided to burn down a pet store and kill that which they wanted to save -- then I have but one reply in the form of an image macro.



Or, to quote Strong Bad, "DORKS."

Comments

[stopword.livejournal.com]

Is it bad that I'm picturing Pee Wee Hermann rescuing the animals from the store?

"This boy is a hero!" "This boy is under arrest!"

[spatch]

That was one of my initial reactions, too, but I couldn't find a good screencap of him and the snakes.

Re: "This boy is a hero!" "This boy is under arrest!"

[quocmachinery.livejournal.com]

Re: "This boy is a hero!" "This boy is under arrest!"

[spatch]

Oh.
My.
God.

Re: "This boy is a hero!" "This boy is under arrest!"

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

NICE

[signsoflife.livejournal.com]

I don't believe it for one flat second. Some one or ones are pathological assholes.

[spatch]

So you theorize that someone set the blaze and then painted the graffiti to shift the suspicion elsewhere?

I can see that. It's even more horrible that way, though. I mean, that's really wrong.

[signsoflife.livejournal.com]

I have noticed, for reasons I'd rather were unguessable, that many people really hate animal welfare activists. How many people do you know who think "punch a vegan" is funny?

I suspect a terribly cruel prank, or another motive + a distraction. While the stupidity of humans continues to amaze me, this feels like one of those questions on the MMRI that's supposed to filter out "dishonest" test-takers -- like, "I regularly converse with aliens," which is actually there to ding you for Making Shit Up.

[spatch]

I admit the first thing I got from this story was an Army Of The Twelve Monkeys vibe -- or, as metahacker references further down, the People's Pet Liberation Front of Judea vibe. My gut reaction was to take the graffiti as intended, and question the motives of killing the object of your liberation. Human beings have a long, sordid history of "burning down the village in order to save it." I think this current administration's doing something quite similar over in a Middle Eastern country right about now.

However, the idea of motive + distraction makes more and more sense. I wonder how financially sound the pet store was.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

"Brothers! We must struggle together!"

"We ARE!"

[asd109.livejournal.com]

I have similar reactions when environmental groups like ELF set SUVs and houses on fire. I just cringe thinking about all the horrible, nasty stuff they have just sent into the environment, not to mention the new environmental costs to remanufacture all the stuff that got burned. Drives me nuts!

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Officials said many of the fish were saved.

We should ALL live in tanks of water! In case of arson!

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

I'm teetering on this one. Either (A) it's someone with an alternate motive using the People's Pet Liberation Front Of Judea as an excuse, or (B) they're as smart as posts.

Of course, given that Operation Animal Stupid has done clever things like release thousands of hungry minks into the wild, over and over, I'm not too surprised if it is (B). Way to think things through, guys.

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

Huh, when I read the first bit of this post, I thought you meant that they suspected arson because they figure someone tried to throw off the investigation by putting up that graffiti. I suspect the person sprayed that just to be "funny".

[spatch]

As mentioned above, I wonder how financially sound the pet store was.



KCHUNG KCHUNGGG

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

All I think of now is Law & Order: Elevator Inspectors Unit

[quocmachinery.livejournal.com]

we will all be saved by dog butt jesus.

[brinylon.livejournal.com]

You are my new hero.

[spatch]

I can't believe I just stared at a dog's ass for nearly a minute and then went "OH!" out loud.

[lno.livejournal.com]

You magnificent bastard.

A Venn Diagram

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

There exists a set A of humanity that is capable of burning down a buidling full of live animals. There is also a set B who commit radical acts in the name of protecting or helping animals. I suspect that A∩B is extremely tiny.

It's not hard to imagine a subset C, contained within A, who would burn down a building full of animals for fun, and would get even more fun out of the irony resulting from blaming it on the group that is least likely to be responsible.

C >> A∩B, IMHO.

Re: A Venn Diagram

[signsoflife.livejournal.com]

Thank you for putting that so succinctly.

[triplehdm.livejournal.com]

These people need to be beaten with hammers until they're start enough to comprehend how stupid they are... then, they should be burned at the stake.

[amandaruth2001.livejournal.com]

There is, of course, the possibility that by burning a few lizards here they've saved countless others from being exploited further down the line. But yeah, how much money can you make selling geckos these days?

[surprisepizza.livejournal.com]

How much money can you make selling roasted gecko onna stick?

[subbes]

Eurgh, this shale's got all ammonites in it.

[alphacygni]

Man, whoever did it, I'm just extra bummed because I used to shop there. It was _the_ serious pet store for fish geeks. They had one or two enormous reptiles - iguanas maybe - who lived there and freely roamed the store like cats at a bookstore. It seemed like a happy place. And the fish were actually cared for and decent, unlike the sad sad spectacles you see at PetSmarCoBoganza(tm), Inc.

[amandaruth2001.livejournal.com]

Aww,man. PLaces like that are hard to find. I hope they can re-open.

[jp-land.livejournal.com]

That story reminds me of the scene in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" when he saves all of those fish and snakes from the burning pet store.

[eeka13.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't agree with the principle of doing something totally unpeaceful in the name of peace. And yeah, they might want to look at some form of vandalism that doesn't endanger animals.

I suppose it could work if done on a large-enough scale though. As much as I think PETA/ALF are fucked up, they sooort of have a point with their terrorism stuff. I mean, if it becomes super-common that pet stores and pet-wearers are harassed, it will kind of send a message that these things aren't societally acceptable. Or at the very least, that they're not worth the hassle.

"Hmm, maybe I'll open a pet store in order to feed my family...naw, better go with a haberdashery. Pet store is too likely to get firebombed all the time."

or "You know, my last 6 mink stoles have gotten paint thrown on them. It's just too much trouble."

So, yeah, on a large-enough scale, vandalism etc. could cut down onanimal cruelty but it would just replace it with other types of violence. Not cool.