by the way, the hour of judgement is at hand

[spatch]

Someone went around last night putting up hand-written notes on the doors of all the churches in and around Davis. I noticed the one on the door of the Haitian church at the corner of College and Morrison. My phone's batteries had died, but the note read something like this, and I'm somewhat paraphrasing near the middle:

To Church and Pastor
This is a message given to me by Our Lord Jesus Christ.

I have come to tell you that the time of judgement is at hand for Boston. If all churches band together in prayer and fasting, the Lord will show mercy upon us.

There was probably more to the note but you get the gist. It was signed, appropriately enough, Elijah.

There was a similar-looking note on the door of the Methodist church across the street, and I didn't think to go back and check the Baptist church, but someone was busy flyering last night. This morning, however, there were no signs on either the Methodist or Baptist church doors.

It's been a long time since I've seen such an interesting slightly-ecumenical call for worship against the End Times, but I'm just hoping that Elijah does not feel compelled to start makin' judgements on the Lord's behalf. It's one thing to be a latter-day prophet, but it's another thing entirely to decide to fulfill that prophecy yourself.

Comments

[spatch]

¹And the Lord spake unto Moses, speaking: ²Thou shalt adorn thine TPS reports ³with sheets of covering. ⁴Didst thou not receive the memo?

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

And the LORD did descend upon the Israelites in a column of fire, and spake unto Moses, speaking: Thine people did not allot unto ME the first portion of birthday cake which is MY right. For this I shall burn down thine temple and thine priests shall no longer have the keeping of the Red Streamline Stapler.