(no subject)

[spatch]

To: Whoever is behind the lyrics to that godawful "Hey Delilah" song I had to endure on the Magic Mild Rock station while waiting in line to pay for my coffee today
From: Mr. D. Spatchel, c/o Somerville Home for the Criminally Bewildered
Re: The lyrics to that godawful "Hey Delilah" song I had to endure on the Magic Mild Rock station while waiting in line to pay for my coffee today

Dear sir(s) or madam(s):

I wish hangnails upon each finger, plus thumb, of your writing hand should you ever, ever, ever put pen to foolscap and write another song lyric as horrible and as clunky as "Even more with me in love you'll fall."

It's not as if you were terribly stuck for a line, either, unless you really couldn't come up with a better line that rhymed with "-all". If that is indeed the case, then I advise you invest in a rhyming dictionary. You may even find one online.

The lyric is so bad that I cannot even come up with a decent parody of it to use as a subject for this post, because "upon the floor my barf will fall" is the worst I can do. But even that does not follow the unholy structure of your terrible inverted atrocity; it merely runs alongside, scowling with a bug-eyed grimace.

In short, sir(s) or madam(s), the next time a line of this sort hits you, for the sake of mankind and all that is good and right in this world, I implore you to duck.


Yrs,
Mr. Sptch
Mssng Vwl Blvrd
Smrvll, M

Comments

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't that be "you to duck I implore"?

Spatch, meet Spaff.

[jadasc.livejournal.com]

I think, in light of this post, this will please:
http://www.spaff.com/poesy/delilah.html

[eeka13.livejournal.com]

PFFFFFFT

[eclecticavatar.livejournal.com]

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/plainwhitets/heytheredelilah.html

If you ignore the lyrics, it's a heartbreakingly beautiful song. Girls sometimes like this kind of godawful song.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Fifteen-year-old girls.

(I should know. One lives at my house.)

[spatch]

I can understand it was written to be a Make 'Em Sigh song (which is what one can call it in mixed company) and the tune was very sweet, and I'm sure the sentiment is well-placed...

but when that line came 'round my jaw just dropped. I didn't think the Yoda School of Songwriting had become an accredited institution.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

My renditions of the song tend to end around the line "Times Square don't smell as bad as you."

[kpht.livejournal.com]

HEE.

[kpht.livejournal.com]

The line is actually "even more in love with me you'd fall". It's still clunky, but makes more sense. It is a beautiful song, but after you hear it three times, you inexplicably want to smash your radio.

[spatch]

I have updated my Official Letter of Complaint accordingly after checking the lyrics. I still find it an abomination of the English language, and this is coming from someone who routinely enjoys word make-em-ups.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness. That makes me cringe ever so much less. (I've never heard the song, and that's unlikely to change anytime soon.)

[muse0fire.livejournal.com]

Damn you. By mentioning the title of that song you have caused me to have that damn song unwillingly implanted in my head and set on repeat. Now I'm going to have to listen to some Dead Kennedys in order to scrub my brain.

here you go :)

[spatch]

POL
POT
POL
POT
POL POT POL POT POL POT POL POT

Don't forget to pack a wife

[muse0fire.livejournal.com]

Perfect, thanks :-)

[lediva.livejournal.com]

"You're listening to Magic 106.5... musical thorazine for your work day."

[johnnycanuck.livejournal.com]

I caught these guys opening for Jimmy Eat World a few years ago. Their earlier stuff is better, but still way over-earnest.

[giantfightbot.livejournal.com]

I am repeatedly humming "Add It Up" in order to drive this Delilah song from my head. They cannot stop playing it on the radio here, and it's like #3 on the iTunes download chart.

Don't shoot shoot shoot
That thing at me
Don't shoot shoot shoot
That thing at me
You know you got my sympathy
But don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me

[jphotog.livejournal.com]

[byrneout.livejournal.com]

Maybe you'll like this version better.

NWS audio, folks. You're warned.

[dogofthefuture.livejournal.com]

Well, non-FCC-safe lyrics, anyway.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Since I don't know this song, and have no desire to change that, I now have an earworm of Queen's "Delilah".

[spatch]

Well, it could be worse; your earworm could be The Statler Brothers' "Elvira."

GIDDY-UP
A-OOM PAPA OOM PAPA MOW MOW
HI-YO SILVER, A-WAAAAAY

[suzepie.livejournal.com]

Nice going. Thanks for passing *that* one along.

CRAP.

(my hearrrrrrrt's on fyah ... fuh Elvirah)

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

"Elvira" is still by the Oak Ridge Boys. Such a song could only be the result of a nuclear accident.

[spatch]

I get my Oak Ridges and Statlers all mixed up.

I know the Statlers did Flowers on the Wall tho, right?

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

They did indeed. Unless it was V.C. Andrews. I can never remember.

[betweenstations.livejournal.com]

The song gets played everywhere.

Hot hot hits and rap of today? Yeah!
Modern rock? Yep.
Alterna-rock? Yep.
Safe music for people who want to claim to still be cool but really equate cool to getting the new REM no matter how much it sucks? Yep.

Pukey puke.

wacky coincidence!

[(Anonymous)]

I wrote about this song today, too! (http://baggypantsandbravado.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html#8276029979526803025)

So that "Hey There Delilah" song by the Plain White T's is a nice enough little college folkpop confection, but doesn't it sound more like the type of song a character on a sitcom or in a musical would write? Like, the character spends the whole show trying to come up with a great song and this is what he plays in the final scene? Y'know, like it's actually much more about the plot of the story than actually about being a particularly good song?

I dunno, I guess I just think that if your big breakthrough song is about hoping to write a big breakthrough song ... there's not that much chance there's gonna be a second hit.

So it seems I like it a little more than you ...

Just doing my bit to make everything all about me!

Noah

Revenge is mine.

[suzepie.livejournal.com]

Because I am a vengeful Suze, I heard this beauty on the radio yesterday and immediately thought how *pleased* and *delighted* you'd be to have it in your ear. Oh, Steve Miller:

ABRA-ABRA-CADABRA
I WANT TO REACH OUT AND GRAB YA
ABRA-ABRA-CADABRA
ABRACADABRA

Enjoy!