Highly Specialized Accolades Dept.

[spatch]

"We boast the largest hotel atrium in West Texas."

Comments

[ikkarus01.livejournal.com]

Obviously you weren't there for the West Texas Atri-ocity. Those were troubled times, they were. So many hotels. Such rampant atrium expansion. So many lives, lost to the madness. Troubled times, indeed. To come away from those terrible days as the holder of the largest atrium is truly an accomplishment worthy of recognition.

[ron_newman]

Now here's a hotel atrium that actually did cost lives.

[ikkarus01.livejournal.com]

114 people? Holy crap.

[spatch]

I remember reading the DRAMA IN REAL LIFE account in Reader's Digest after it happened. Reader's Digest was the place where I got all my disaster news, months after it happened.

Except for the time they wrote a DRAMA IN REAL LIFE story of the guy in my town who was stung mercilessly by a swarm of bees and managed to drive himself 12 miles down the mountain to town for medical assistance -- and the most dramatic part was when he got to the part of the road with multiple S-curves (or, as we called it, "The Shuffle.") That was awesome.

[ladivinafemme.livejournal.com]

Whoa, do you remember the guy who saw Jesus (our Lord and Saivyer) in a fire in his shed?

[bostonista.livejournal.com]

Great for balloon conventions!

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

They said biggest, though. Not tallest....

[gwynethfar.livejournal.com]

Not in Texas, mind you. Just in the west-ish part.

The other thing I love is when someone says, "Our restaurant was voted in the top six best local eateries," and you're like, "Okay, they're obviously number six." Because if they were number four or five, they'd say "In the top five."

[spatch]

That's what I love. The more qualifiers you have, the funnier your boast is.

The biggest atrium in West Texas with herringbone patterns on the floors and a guy at the front desk named Dusty!

[markm.livejournal.com]

Ah, but has it got a specious Loby?

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

That rates about 1/4th of a "Yeehaww!" That's just a "Ye-" more or less.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

They also apparently specialize in cactus platters for your wedding reception.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Also, that's not an atrium: this is an atrium.

[spatch]

That's no atrium; that's a space station!

[katre50.livejournal.com]

Hey, is that the Opryland Hotel (and, now, apparently a Convention Center). I love that place. it's nice any time of year, but the Christmas decorations are entirely awesome.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

It's not the same without any Hee-Haw Honeys.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Also, we apparently share an alma mater. That's wrong on a fundamental level.

[ticket-monkey.livejournal.com]

I just found out that's where I'll be spending a weeklong convention in August of 2008. Also where I'll be spending my 40th birthday. *yay*

[clickie]

That fits right in into my theory of "why Texas is weird:" I think Texans like to boast about things that no other American can understand as being a superlative. For example, the giant Sam Houston statue in Huntsville: "the largest statue of an American hero." I didn't know that was even a competition.

[ron_newman]

Mount Rushmore doesn't count as a 'statue' ?

[spatch]

Nope. It's technically a mountain carving. Statues are typically free-standing sculptures.

[heliopsis.livejournal.com]

Ain't seen you 'round these parts afore, young fella. Gotta be careful in this here atrium. Ya got water? It's a long, hot walk from the reception desk to the elevators. Better men than you've died on that carpet. Once you get past the coat check, ain't nothin' but a Starbucks as far as the eye can see. And that there Starbucks is cash only.