spatch

Nano, schmano.

He says, fatuously, after looking over story notes for an all-new RED SHIFT live show in January and already scrabbling together half a draft of its first episode, while using spare brain cycles to hammer out the episodic structure of the second studio-recorded series with Michael and also planning post-production work on the first series with Neil.

(Howzabout you find your 50,000 words one way and I'll find mine another, 'kay?)

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From:

spatch

We did a touring Aesop's Fables kids' show in high school with Noah's slightly modernized takes on the stories; Androcles was a nice kid with a baseball cap and a dog named Spot. The role of Spot required an actor to mostly emoted but, like George Clooney's dog, got to say "Ruff!" every now and then.

The actor in the role of Spot (who was not me, and I mean that; I think I played Androcles here) understood he was taking on a role with very few lines but gamely played along until late in rehearsals when he started to milk the Serious Actor Preparing For His Line business.

ANDROCLES: Well, I'm Androcles, and this is my dog, Spot.

SPOT (after a Lengthy Pause, a round of What's-My-Next-Line-And-How-Should-I-Play-It complete with Raised Finger and Pensive Look, a Final Grandiose Build-Up for Maximum Dramatic Intensity and then a Confident, Self-Assured Delivery): Ruff!

NOAH THE DIRECTOR: Uh, Spot...

SPOT: What?! I was just trying to find my character's core here.

This was a elementary school tour, and at one school we put on the show at their playground ampitheatre, complete with wooden wall serving as a backdrop. In one of the stories I played a character who had to hide from gangsters, so in the outdoor show I decided to run back behind the wall and then jump up and peer over at the goings on instead of just crouching down and looking out from the wings.

I didn't realize I'd disturbed a paper wasp nest in my improvisation and an angry inhabitant flew down my t-shirt arm. I ran back out onstage before I realized what had happened and subsequently performed the last few scenes -- and the curtain call -- furiously trying to smush the goddamn wasp who in turn was furiously making big red welts up and down my side. In retrospect perhaps smushing the wasp against my bare skin wasn't such a hot concept, but my shirt was tucked too far in and my costume wasn't allowing any other exit.

Moral of the story: Know your set.

From:

fancycwabs.livejournal.com

Know your set isn't one of Aesop's morals! Although "The Actor and The Wasp in His Shirt" is now my favorite fable, with "The Actor and The Cockroach up His Pants" a close second.

The writer/director for Rip Van Winkle asked if I could do a convincing dog bark, which I'd remembered from Fred Newman's Mouthsounds book (the first edition with the floppy record), so I said sure. Only after I tried I couldn't do it anymore, except for the teensiest dogs, and I started hacking after every bark. So the dog's gonna have a lung ailment, or I'm gonna have to go with an exhaling bark instead of an inhaling one.

From:

spatch

So the dog's gonna have a lung ailment, or I'm gonna have to go with an exhaling bark instead of an inhaling one.

That reminds me of Doug MacKenzie's bedtime story about Ralph the Dog who gets into a fight with five other dogs, one of whom has emphysema because, as you know, dogs are heavy chain smokers.

But oh em gee, I remember Fred Newman's book! He was a god among crazy kids who wanted to do funny things with their voices back in the 80s. I think I was the only one in my city. I checked the book out from the library many times, but sadly there was no record inside.

From:

fancycwabs.livejournal.com

The new version has a CD-ROM so you can watch and learn, but really all books should come with floppy records inside, like Billy & The Boingers Bootleg.

Fun note: looking up the Wikipedia entry on Flexi-disc, which I guess is the proper name for those floppy things, I discovered that the Soviet underground jazz scene used to distribute recordings on discarded X-rays, called roentgenizdat. That is undoubtedly the coolest thing I'll read today, unless someone on my friendslist gets attacked by a ninja or something.

From:

spatch

One of my best Napster/Soulseek/Whatever acquisitions was Cuz I'm A Boinger on MP3. However I don't think I was able to get the B-Side, U Make Me Sick (But I Love U).