AGENT.

[spatch]

Thank you for calling Automated Airlines' automated airline phoneline. I am a recording, though I will be speaking to you in the first person so it's like we're just carrying on a conversation like two regular people, okay?

Whatever.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand what you're saying. I'll start by asking you some questions. First, are you calling f-

AGENT.

Okay. You want to speak to an agent. Is that correct? If so, say yes.

Yes.

Great! Are you calling about a new reservation, or an existing reserv-

Existing.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand you. Are you calling about a new reservation, or-

EGG. ZIS. TING.

All right! You want to discuss an existing reservation. Is that correct? If so, say yes.

(sigh) Yes.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understa--

AGENT.

Okay, I'll transfer you to an agent. First I'll just need a few answers from you. Is this for a domestic flight travelling solely in the continental Unite-

Just let me speak to a person.

... I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand you. Is th-

Of course you didn't, you're a goddamned computer. Now go get me a person.

... I'm sorry that I am having trouble understanding what you're saying.

Yeah, I bet you are.

... I'm sorry that I am having trouble understanding what you're saying. Please hold for one minute and I'll connect you to a representative.

mmbrbbbelbeze autoameted airlines myname is john mmzmhelp you?

AGENT.


The preceding has been brought to you by http://gethuman.com/ whether they're aware of it or not. Don't let this happen to you.

Comments

[spatch]

For quality purposes, this call may be monitored or recorded, so we better lower the Cone of Silence.