CAT VERSUS ICE CREAM

[spatch]

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

(Mr. S. and Miss V. are sitting on the sofa enjoying tasty ice cream they brought home from JP Licks. Enter THE CAT.)

THE CAT
Hey, that's ice cream.

MR. S.
Yes it is.

THE CAT
I want some.

MR. S.
No.

THE CAT
(getting all up in his face)
I want some.

MR. S.
Sorry. I asked for cat poison ice cream, so I'm afraid you can't have any.

MISS V.
Oh now you're just being mean.

THE CAT
(suddenly deciding MISS V. is his bestest friend in the whole universe)
You have defended my honor. In gratitude, I should get some of your ice cream too.

MISS V.
Oh, here.

(MISS V. carefully takes a little bit of ice cream on her spoon and deftly drips some onto the nose of THE CAT. THE CAT promptly licks the ice cream off his nose and is temporarily satiated.)

MR. S.
Hey, that's a neat trick. Did you pick that up from raising dogs?

MISS V.
Kinda.

THE CAT
(Now returning all up in MR. S' face.)
Okay, your turn.

MR. S.
What the hell, I'll try.

(MR. S. carefully takes a little bit of ice cream on his spoon and attempts to drip some on the nose of THE CAT. He succeeds, but only marginally. He dangles the spoon near THE CAT again for a second flyby.)

THE CAT
Oh, screw this.

(THE CAT lunges with one mighty paw and scores a perfect hit on the spoon. Almost instantaneously, he realizes he has gone and stuck his paw into something REALLY FREAKIN' COLD, and shakes his paw like a fiend. ICE CREAM goes flying EVERYWHERE. On the coffee table, on the couch, on MR. S. and even a little bit on THE CAT.)

MR. S.
OH NICE HIT, WILLIAM TELL

(THE CAT is happily licking ice cream off everything and too busy to care about anything else.)

MISS V.
(Suddenly overcome with a gigglefit the size of Rhode Island)
I think you need more practice.

fin

Comments

[gee-tar.livejournal.com]

Wow, this sounds even more entertaining than 30 Rock.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

She's not the only one overcome with a gigglefit the size of Rhode Island.

Abbie does have mighty paws. Did it take him a long time to get the ice cream out of his toe tufts?

[bkdelong.livejournal.com]

Teh Cute....It kills. Thurs nights are the best.

[greenlily.livejournal.com]

*gigglefit*

My ex-kittens had similar reactions to ice cream, but they were very tiny kittens (6 weeks old when we adopted them) and their noses would've been impossibly small targets.

[muffyjo]

I believe I heard The Cat explaining he wanted to practice that move a few more times.

[some-kitten.livejournal.com]

I adore Mr. The Cat.

Mr. S. is funny.

Pie is good, too.

[mybadhairlife.livejournal.com]

*bows to the Master!*

*wonders if the Master has any tips for getting pizza boxes open, 'cause sitting on them is no help.*

[k-sui.livejournal.com]

Our cat acts like that if there's a sound that comes even remotely close to a can opener. Because in his brain, can opener = tuna.

[tonysalieri.livejournal.com]

My cat appears to be working to understudy for yours...

[grumqa.livejournal.com]

This is exactly why we keep the internet around.

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

who is this mysterious Miss V?

[hermitgeecko.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Me! Pr'fessor, I know the answer to this one! Pick me!

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

*peers at the waving hand* Yes HermitGeecko? Do you have the answer?

[spatch]

I'll say she does!

[reveritas.livejournal.com]

Did I Ask You, Mr. Spatchel?

oh, i guess i did. :D

[spatch]

*finger on nose*

[meedja.livejournal.com]

The moral of this story is: Mr The Cat knows what he wants, and Mr S should give it to him without complaint or argument. Otherwise THINGS happen. Mr The Cat, he is wise.

[resk.livejournal.com]

More like this, please. Perhaps next time with . . . slushie?

[johnnycanuck.livejournal.com]

I need to see this as a short film.

I'll executive produce. Here's $5.00. GO GO GO

[herself_nyc]

Hee.

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

*hands Mr. The Cat his very own soft-serve cone*