Contemptuous Consumption

[spatch]

A perusal of the Hammacher Schlemmer online catalog last night led Sonya and I to make a lot of sardonic mocking sounds at the wide array of overpriced tchotchkes for the Romney set. After a particularly profane outburst I decided to write my own copy for some of the more egregious examples. I've got a Tumblr thingo up which is posting these sporadically across a few days, but you lucky lot, you get to see a whole bunch first! Wowie! There's a lot of huge images and cussing ahead; we cut because we care.

PS. I didn't edit a single one of the listed prices. For serious.

Comments

[moon-custafer.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha this is actually disturbingly close to the copywriting style on woot dot com.

[tansu.livejournal.com]

standing O, sir.

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

#fixedthatforyou

:-)

[glowkitty]

I saw that USB paper towel roll yesterday on some website whose theme was essentially "shut up and take my money."

[susskins.livejournal.com]

This is quality moichandise here. The Sharper Image and Brookstone can go fuck themselves.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

They all live happily together in the great Mall in the Sky.

[sovay]

Do we look like car scientists to you?

I shall love this until the end of time or tchotchke catalogues, whichever comes first. Probably time.

[rosefox]

Paaaaaaatreon. :)

[muffyjo]

Does item #86688 come in any color other than silver? My kitchen is yellow and green and I'd really like to tie the theme together.

[beowabbit]

/me clicks “Like”.

[clickie]

To play devil's advocate on the paper towel holder, if you are the kind of person who owns a standalone paper towel holder, you probably spent at least $20 on it anyway, and a USB charging hub might cost you another $30, so...maybe you just want to kill two birds with one stone?

Personally, my paper towel dispenser is a piece of string stuck through the roll and attached to the side of a dog pen.

[spatch]

Our paper towel holder is the floor, because there's absolutely no place we can stash rolls without the cats getting to them unless we want to hang the damn things from the ceiling. The rolls, not the cats. They'd have too much fun playing Pilot To Bombardier hanging from the ceiling.

[clickie]

Wait so the cats have no interest in batting around the roll if it's on the floor, but if it were hung up somewhere they'd be all for it?

[antiquated-tory.livejournal.com]

Actually if they built in some Bluetooth speakers, that paper towel dispenser would be really handy. I'm always listening to podcasts while I cook, over a device that needs recharging.

[clickie]

If you had one of those Bluetooth speakers that charges via USB, you'd be set.

[cruccadnedy.livejournal.com]

Интересно почему в топе жж так много укрофашистких записей?


http://huntingcoloradostyle.com/content/beloc-online-usa-fast-shipping-beloc-canadian-pharmacy
;
http://huntingcoloradostyle.com/content/cardizem-fda-approved-buy-canada-cardizem-us-no-prescription

[yhlee.livejournal.com]

Hello, I'm a friend of Sonya's--I wanted to wish you happy birthday!

[nineweaving.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! Travel light.

Love,

Nine

[ajodasso.livejournal.com]

These are all hilarious, but it's the last one that really broke me.

(Happy Birthday!)