HELLO I AM YOUR E-GUIDANCE COUNSELOR

[spatch]

HELLO SPATCH
(HELLO JORB WEBSITE)
HERE ARE JORBS FOR YUO
(OH AWESOME THX)

1. LOTTO MACHINE BALL PICKER-OUTER
2. HELICOPTER (NOT HELICOPTER PILOT, JUST HELICOPTER)
3. SALT SOMMELIER
4. ALPHABET RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT (WE NEED NEW INNOVATIONS ON THE LETTER "G")
5. BOMP IN THE BOMP-SHA-BOMP-SHA-BOMP PUTTER-INNER
(REQUIRES 2 YEARS OF RAM IN THE RAM-A-LAM-A-DING-DONG PUTTING-IN OR EQUIVALENT EXPERIENCE)
6. AUTHOR, THE BOOK OF LOVE
7. JEEP WRANGLER
8. LOUD SHOUTY GUY ON A TRAFFIC ISLAND
9. BURL IVES IMPERSONATOR
10. LOUD SHOUTY BURL IVES IMPERSONATOR ON A TRAFFIC ISLAND
11. MOVIE THEATER SEAT KICKER
12. CAPS LOCK INVENTOR
13. GUY WHO WRITES A WEBSITE PROGRAM THAT TELLS PEOPLE WHAT THEIR JORBS SHOULD BE

THANK YUO FOR USEING OUR FINE PROGRAM TODAY
HAVE A GOOD CAREER
(NO, YOU HAVE A GOOD CAREER)

Comments

[suzepie.livejournal.com]

I took that damn thing and it wanted me to be a Funeral Director. WHAT.

And I concur with the other comments on your brilliancy, etc. Why the hell aren't you writing for McSweeney's? SRSLY.

[eclecticavatar.livejournal.com]

Dude, Funeral Director is actually a frikkin sweet job. Surprisingly difficult field to get into though...

The above-which had little or nothing to do with anything, thank-u-very-much-k-thx-bye.