I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME RICH.

[spatch]

I will sell fake Bluetooth headsets to crazy people, so that when they walk down the street ranting to themselves, nobody will think twice about it.

I'll make a million!



EDIT: OH NOS! SCOOPED BY ACHEWOOD!

Comments

[eclecticavatar.livejournal.com]

But then they will look like Cybermen and people will be afraid of them.

Okay. So maybe I'll be the only one afraid of them... but still!

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, they'll pay you in purple ducks that only they can see.

[markm.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but he'll make it up in volume.

[mcsnee.livejournal.com]

This thread made me snort Diet Pepsi.

[archangelsk.livejournal.com]

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[toonhead-npl.livejournal.com]

If you could make one that injected venom into someone's ear with a big-ass needle, I'm up for sending some seed money your way.

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

I would totally wear one of those. o_O

They'd still sound crazy

[prog.livejournal.com]

It's all in the inflection, man.

So throw in a vocoder and I'm SOLD

[roup42.livejournal.com]

Do the crazy people really care if people think twice about it, though?

[oakenguy.livejournal.com]

Well, sure--when you're the only real human being in a world full of robots*, the last thing you want to do is stand out so the androids notice you.





*Real complaint by crazy person in Central Square, 2004

[scout1222.livejournal.com]

You are crazy. Crazy like a fox.

[limax.livejournal.com]

Why just limit it to the crazy people?

[dskasak.livejournal.com]

It is a shame Wesley Willis is no longer around, as he'd make a great celebrity spokesperson for your headset.

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

YOU STOLE MY IDEA, BITCH. I'MA SUING.

[spatch]

I'M CALLING MY LAWYER RIGHT NOW ON MY CRAZYPHONE
BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BEEP
HELLO PROFESSOR SNAPE I MEAN LAWYER PROFESSOR SNAPE I AM GLAD TO HAVE YOU ON RETAINER AS WE HAVE MUCH WORK TO DO

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

NO U

ALSO MY INTERBUTT LAWYER HAS A THICK AND GIRTHY E-PENIS

[spatch]

[ubiquity75.livejournal.com]

I love the American flag.

[spatch]

Linda Vester loves her country. Why can't you say the same?

[ubiquity75.livejournal.com]

Because I am part of the problem.

[she-parser.livejournal.com]

Merlin's balls!

Are you so incapable of retaining information that you have once again interrupted me during my jaccuzi hour?

Insufferable blog-it-all.

[spatch]

Merlin's balls!

We're not here to discuss your diet.
OH SNAPe

[she-parser.livejournal.com]

Oh, how absolutely delightful.

Please accept this swirling pink Avada Kedavra heart as a token of my utter amusement.

Press the receiver close to your ear or other convenient orifice.

[spatch]

HURRAY

[chanaleh.livejournal.com]

Dude, it's like that Zits strip I can't find, where Jeremy and Pierce play the people-watching game "Wireless Headset or Off Her Meds?"

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

Classic.

[ubiquity75.livejournal.com]

NICE ICON.

[spatch]

WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT ACHEWOOD HAS SCOOPED US BY ABOUT A MONTH OR SO

OH NOS

[puddnhead.livejournal.com]

Didn't want to say anything.