Best news lead of the day

[spatch]

"It's Primary Day in Florida, and at this point, it's too close to call!"

This led the top of the 8:00 am news on Boston's soft-rock-lite-favorites station and was delivered without any hint of irony whatsoever.

The polls had been open for an hour.




If this is a three-ring circus then I want my cotton candy, goddammit.

Comments

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

If any news story on the FL Primary fails to point out that the Democratic half is likely cosmetic-only, it's not news - it's entertainment.

If the story fails to mention delegate counts, its newsertainment.

Not a lotta news out there, gang.

[gee-tar.livejournal.com]

It takes a lot of suspense out of it when the results don't even matter. At least on the Democratic side of things.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Don't be so sure they won't matter. Hillary Clinton is actively bucking the DNC and calling for the Florida delegates to be seated, now that she realizes she might need those delegates.

The prospect of a Democratic nomination coming down to a rules fight over Florida is something I really don't like to contemplate.

[markm.livejournal.com]

unfortunately, the media are two rings short of a three ring circus

[spatch]

This is our early predicted winner for Best Comment of the Day

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

Can it be a circus with only clowns?

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

With Fred Thompson gone, it's gonna be Huckabee all the way.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

I almost wish Huck was in it for a longer run. He's the only candidate who's dumber than the current president. His is a rare bouquet of arrogance and ignorance, culled from a fragile vintage that grows only under Arkansas' shadiest rocks. In an election year frenzy the world's English-speaking media would chew him up like a nanobot attack. A few more months of scrutiny and he'd come back to Arkansas, put on 80 pounds and beg former constituents for a gift membership to Little Rock's priciest gym, even though he could afford it.

...Yeah, I could see myself actually biting his throat if I ever met him, if you were curious.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

You can enjoy it for at least another week, as the Huckster is counting on pulling out a couple of surprises in our neck of the woods. He could probably get delegates in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, and Tennessee.

I've early voted (for people named Cheyenne, Otis, and Barack) so I can't do anything further to push Huck for entertainment purposes, and weep silently as the endorsements of Chuck Norris, Ted Nugent, Rick Flair, Jerry Jenkins & Tim Lehaye, Chee Chee Tamburo, Zig Ziglar, Minuteman Jim Gilchrist, Jerry Falwell Jr, Duncan Hunter, and The Home School Legal Defense Association get lost as the wind carries them away.

I'll repeat this, because it may be the only time I get to: Chee Chee Tamburo.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

Huh...Half of those guys are old JSA villains, right? I recognize some of the names. And you forgot the endorsements of Per Degaton and Johnny Sorrow.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

The four part series where the JSA becomes embroiled with The Home School Legal Defense Association was classic.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

Yeah, aren't they the arch enemies of the current Mr. Terrific? I think they're slated to face off in an upcoming issue when the HSLDA sends Obama back to 1954.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

That's right--although I'd heard that they'd used a mind-control ray to make it so that nearly half of the population wished that it were 1954, instead. It would make more sense just to try to send him back there, though.

The Huckster really pulled a fast one in the "Creationist Crisis" series; claiming that he spoke for The Designer was a true coup.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was all a ruse, trust me. He's still firmly a shadow player. You ask me, he lost all that weight because of the Kryptonian DNA graft. The Mike Huckabee you thought you knew no longer exists.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

With the Twin Sons of Hope equally at odds with Mr. Terrific, I'd think we'd be looking at some sweet crossover action.


In all likelihood, nobody but Mr. Spatch (and the commenters) is reading this. I, for one, am highly amused by this turn in the comments thread.

[cigfran-cg.livejournal.com]

In all likelihood, nobody but Mr. Spatch (and the commenters) is reading this. I, for one, am highly amused by this turn in the comments thread.

Heh! You never know who or what is lurking about lj.

[amandaruth2001.livejournal.com]

Let me share this news story, from sunny southern California:

This was the second story on the morning news (they led with the weather) and it featured a graphic that said "Beach Body." They were following up on a body that had been found on the beach the day before, and it had been determined that the deceased had been flying a kite up on the cliffs and fallen over the edge. They concluded the story with, "The cliff area is steep and rocky."

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

"Turner 85, Mitchell 23...and THE TENSION IS MOUNTING!"

[samethreechords.livejournal.com]

Well, the only defense I'll offer a comment that inane is that they usually like to be able to project early via exit polling whether there's an obvious winner, hence reporting that Obama won in SC and Romney won in NV in routs after just a few hours.

It's still dumb.

[valancy17.livejournal.com]

word.