MORE BREAKING NEWS WOOP WOOP

[spatch]

THERE WERE DONUTS IN THE BREAK ROOM AND I GOT THE HOMER SIMPSON SPECIAL (BRIGHT PINK FROSTING AND SPRINKLES)

FURTHER BULLETINS AS EVENTS WARRANT





EDIT: I ATE THE DONUT AND IT WAS DELICIOUS, STAY WITH DERSPATCHEL.LIVEJOURNAL.COM FOR ALL YOUR LIVE, LOCAL DONUT COVERAGE

Comments

[platys.livejournal.com]

I had a chocolate donut yesterday. It was SCRUMPTIOUS.

There are no donuts today, and for that, I weep.

[arielblue.livejournal.com]

If you poop bright pink, don't say you weren't warned.

[spatch]

I CAN'T WAIT TO POST ABOUT THAT ON THE INTERNET

[arielblue.livejournal.com]

YOU MEAN THE INTERBUTT

BUTT BUTT BUTT

[scout1222.livejournal.com]

I will be secretly pleased if you do.

THE REPORTER FROM SAN DIEGO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF, WHILE INGESTING SAID DONUT YOU CLAIMED "MMMM....DONUTS" AND MADE A SLOBBERING SOUND.

[spatch]

we have released the transcripts of the donut eating:


[10:41:22 AM] HEY GUYS CHECK IT OUT I GOT A DONUT
[10:41:57 AM] NROM NROM NROM NROM NROM
[10:42:13 AM] NOW I NEED A NAPKIN, THERE'S SPRINKLES EVERYWHERE

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

SIR SIR I HAVE A QUESTION I'M BEFFANY BITSY WITH THE KANSAS CITY STAR TELL ME SIR WHAT COLOR WERE THE SPRINKLES?

[spatch]

I AM UNABLE TO RELEASE THE DETAILS OF THE SPRINKLE COLORS AT THIS TIME, NEXT QUESTION

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

SIR SIR CAN YOU CONFIRM THE RUMORS THAT BRITTANY SPEARS IS PREGNANT AGAIN AND IF SO WHEN ARE THE PATERNITY TEST RESULTS DUE?

[spatch]

I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY THE PREGGERS CONDITION OF MISS SPEARS BUT IF YOU LOOK TO YOUR LEFT YOU'LL SEE HER DROPPING HER NEW KID HEADFIRST ON THE PAVEMENT, REPEATEDLY

[androidqueen.livejournal.com]

i <3 pink frosting with sprinkles. it doesn't even pretend to be at all natural.

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

I WILL DESIGN A SPECIAL LOGO AND MUSICAL INTRO/OUTRO FOR DONUTSPATCHWATCH 2006 IT WILL GO BOOM BOOM BOOM BA BOOM DAAN DAAAAAH! CUE JAMES EARL JONES

[spatch]

WE SHALL PLAY IT BEFORE AND AFTER EVERY UPDATE JUST TO MAKE SURE EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE WATCHING

[vanguardcdk.livejournal.com]

Just remember not to eat Homer's soul donut. No matter how mouth-wateringly delicious it is.

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

Ooo. Can I be the foreign donut correspondent? I'm Canadian. :D

[spatch]

ONLY IF YOU REPORT LIVE FROM TIM HORTON'S

[zrblm.livejournal.com]

HEY THEIR SOUR CREAM DONUTS ARE THE BOMB. AM I ALLOWED TO SAY "THE BOMB" WHEN I'M CANADIAN?

[platys.livejournal.com]

I CAN REPORT THAT TIM HORTON'S HAS FABULOUS MAPLE FROSTED DONUTS. I ATE ONE IN 2003.

[saint-buddha.livejournal.com]

THIS CORRESPONDENT IN WESTERN WASHINGTON STATE CAN REPORT THAT THERE ARE TIM HORTON'S IN THE DETROIT AREA SO YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CROSS THE DMZ.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Someone ought to replace the sprinkles on donuts with Nerds. Then they ought to invent Chocolate Nerds.

[jotasbrane.livejournal.com]

Drat you, Spatch. I was going along just fine, living life without having any particular need for a pink-frosted donut with sprinkles... until now.