VOS OPINIONS ICI

[spatch]

I just know he's totally faking it, they pulled some drifter's arteriosclerotic corpse outta his Aspen vacation home, and I believe that in reality our scheister friend is sipping margaritas with HUGE GRAINS OF SALT on some beach in Belize.

But do you?

[Poll #762785]

Additional conspiracy theories can go in comments! Whee!

Comments

[spatch]

Paging oakenguy: They transplanted a white bigot's head on a soul brother's body!

[heliopsis.livejournal.com]

I think he's actually dead, killed by the CIA before he could spill the beans on Bush and Cheney's involvement. They're very good at giving people "heart attacks."

[bedfull-o-books.livejournal.com]

Oooh. You're right. Wish I had thought of that....

[desultor.livejournal.com]

irresistible orgazmo reference here.

he was killed by the CIA for selling smack.... to nazis.

(and i feel guilty about being nitpicky but i can't help it.... i think you mean shyster?)

[johnnycanuck.livejournal.com]

I said "pie", and I'm standing by my statement.

[scout1222.livejournal.com]

I wish I were standing by pie right now.

[piemancer]

Tell me more about the pie.

[spatch]

All I could think of is that scene in The Simpsons where Martin plays the "My Dinner With Andre" video game.

"Thirsting for a way to name the unnameable, to express the inexpressible?"
"Ooh, tell me more!" *presses Tell Me More button*

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

As I understand it, the four top suspicions are, in order:
1. Faked own death
2. Murdered because he knew too much
3. Suicide
4. Heart attack, as reported

[lno.livejournal.com]

He's totally going to take his travelers checks to a competing resort.

[platys.livejournal.com]

I want to change my answer from Afghanistan to POISONED BY DUCKS. Tikva's got it right. Those ducks are vicious.

[ron_newman]

Lay, Lady Lay